You’re Nothing, You’re Void, You’re Gone.

There’s sadness that can’t be explained. The type that drowns you from inside, the type people don’t get to see, it’s your secret and struggle.

You reach out to the voice in your head, the one that protects you and realize there’s nothing but silence and the silence is sad and doesn’t want to talk to you. Even those moments when you get to talk to give yourself the pep talk has been taken.

You’re nothing, you’re void, you’re gone.

How do you share what you can’t comprehend? How do you say you’re mind is trying to claim you for itself and not in the self-empowering way? How do you really share that the fact we just spoke and you laughed and sounded “normal” was just the masked you?

There’s a reckless abandon in confronting the silence, it’s usually the road nobody understands. It’s a challenge to the very thing you own. You say to the silence, “I own you and I’d be silent instead” and with that you flip the switch, power changes hands, you consume the silence, you become the silence.

And the tears begin, by people who swear they would have held the torch in the darkness and brought a boom box to challenge the silence. There will be regrets but no one will know if you won in the end or if the secret struggle continues.

When there’s nothing left to give, you give yourself.

Not because you want to, but for necessity, self preservation means the opposite. You don’t mean to take away the options of being brought a torch and a boom box, you just don’t think it’s worth it. You’re nothing, you’re void, you’re gone and you’re definitely not worth saving.

The end isn’t assured but it’s seems better than the present.